


Footprints of the beastly soul

by SilverLine3



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-07 21:04:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8816203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverLine3/pseuds/SilverLine3
Summary: “After seven minutes, when the clock hits 12 in the midnight, my time will be over, and in this moment all I want to do is, to be here with you. So, let me be here.” The urgency in his voice was crystal clear, because he knew the cost of everything he was going to do, the cost in unleashing the beast in this world.





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

The breeze came from the open window, swirling the curtains in the motion, rinsing over her face. She furrowed her brows, stretching herself to reach out to his side. The palms met the surface of the sheets on the bed, making the realization of the emptiness in life for now. She didn’t want to open her eyes, to see the reality. As long as her eyes are closed, nothing is real, and everything is perfect in her world.

It wasn’t.

Her mind kept telling her to keep her eyes shut, however, the essence of his cologne was so strong, she couldn’t help but to see him herself. But, there wasn’t anyone. It was just her wearing his jacket.

She should have remembered it when she wore it and dozed off.

“Stefan,” she shouted his name, as if that was going to change the fact that he was gone to god knows where.

Until yesterday, he was there with her and everything was beautiful, but now that he is gone, the facts have started to sink in her head, and it is hurting way too much. Christmas is supposed to be spent with the family, and looking at herself being far away from him, from Josie and Lizzie broke something inside her. She was all alone in the giant house, in his house. She got off the bed, and went out of his room, roaming in the hallway, thinking that it might soothe her mind.

It didn’t.

On the contrary, it made everything worst. She could literally imagine him standing there, smiling at her, the way he always did in the morning, making breakfast for her.

_“You don’t have to cook breakfast every morning, you know that right?” said Caroline._

_“I know, but it doesn’t mean I couldn’t. Besides, I love to make breakfast for you,” he smiled at her adoring the way she walked towards him._

_“Mmm… aren’t I the luckiest girlfriend in the world,” she pulled him closer to give him a soft peck on his lips._

_“Then you are competing with me for the title of being the luckiest one.”_

_“And why is that?”_

_“Because Caroline Forbes said yes to be my wife.”_

She could still hear him laughing with her in that kitchen, looking at her with love, the way which is reserved only for her.

She checked her phone millionth time, hoping to see his name popping on the screen. She knew he had to cut his ties with her to serve Cade, but it was still difficult to convince her heart. It was way too weak when it came to him.

Her phone buzzed which made her jumped to pick it up. Her smile disappeared after seeing the name on the I.D.

“Hey,” said Bonnie on the other end. “Is everything okay there?”

“Yeah, except for the fact that Stefan is no more here.”

“How are you holding it up?”

“Surviving, I guess. Besides, he said that it will be a matter of one year.”

“One year?” Bonnie asked in confusion.

“Stefan made some changes in the deal,” Caroline explained slowly, “I don’t know the details, but he said that he will be back in a year.”

“That’s good news Caroline. You should be happy.”

“Yeah,” agreed Caroline. However, her gut feeling was screaming that something wasn’t right. She knew that whatever he agreed upon doing was something ugly. And her mind had been occupied in the same thoughts since last night, hoping that he is fine in all of this.

“Anyways, is there something you wanted to tell me?” asked Caroline.

“How do you know?”

“Bonnie, you are my best friend, and if I wouldn’t know it who would?”

“I…uh,”

Bonnie was clearly struggling, and Caroline could hear it in her voice.

“Enzo asked me to with him to Paris,” Bonnie said finally.

“And you are telling me this in such tone? Isn’t it romantic for you girl?”

“It is, but I can cancel it you know.”

“And why would you do that?”

“With everything happening, what if you need me?”

“Bonnie, I am fine okay, and you are not cancelling on Enzo because of me. After such a long time, you are finally happy, and I am not going to be the reason of pulling you away from it.”

“But-”

“Bonnie, when the time is with you, you have to enjoy it, and I promise you, I will call you if anything happens, okay?”

“At least Ric is here for few more days,”

Caroline didn’t answer to that. How was she able to accept the fact that everything is changed, her whole world is ripped apart, leaving her alone to survive all of this?

“Yeah, at least that’s there. I hope they all are fine,” said Caroline.

And by all, she meant all of the three most precious people of her world.

[***]

 

 

 

_“I am going to get you back, you know. I am going to free you.”_

_He smiles at her, because he knows if she wants something she will do anything to get it. But, he also knows that nothing is going to change the fact that he has lost the battle, and can’t take the chances of dragging her in with himself._

_“Right now, I just want to be with you. No distraction, no other worries to occupy our heads,” he slipped his hand towards hers and held it softly. There was no one around them, and even if there was, it wouldn’t have mattered. In that moment, he was simply Stefan, and she was just Caroline, and the world simply didn’t exist._

_“Why?” She asked Stefan, who was looking at the ground in the whole conversation. She waited for his answer._

_“Why was I playing with Josie?” he threw a question instead. She turned her head to look at him smiling and staring at her back._

_“That’s not what I asked Stefan, and you know it.”_

_Caroline was irritated, and why wouldn’t she? After all, in few hours everything his whole life was going to turn upside down._

_Stefan turned his head and looked far away across the river. His eyes were hover over the twinkling stars over the trees, but his mind was occupied with the images of the whole life he had been thinking of having with her, the one which only exists in the dreamland now._

_“It’s all because of me.”_

_The whispered voice came out of Caroline._

_“If I wouldn’t have told you to-”_

_“I would have still done it,” he cut her in the middle. He couldn’t bear to see her blaming herself for all of this._

_He pulled her close so that he could see her face clearly under the moonlight. “In my whole life, I have committed millions of crimes, have done horrific mistakes, have taken terrible decisions, but this isn’t one of them. When you got Josie and Lizzie back, your eyes were shining with relief and love for them, and when I saw you smiling back, in that moment I knew that I can give anything and everything just to see you smile. I did it back there, and I would do it over again if I have to.”_

_“We were supposed to get married,” Caroline had started to sob. The whole day she had been in denial, not letting the truth cloud her emotions. She wore her best smiling face she could have had, and hosted the Christmas party. And now in that twentieth hour, everything started to crumble down on her._

_“Marriage is just a ceremony, a smudge of the ink on a paper. So, officially you would have been my wife soon, but in my heart, you already are my wife, Caroline Elizabeth Forbes, from the moment you said yes, from the moment you forgive me for everything I did to you three years back and let me be the part of your life again.”_

_“This isn’t fair with you or me, with us.”_

_“It’s not, but don’t you dare blame yourself for all of this. I love you, and it’s my selfish heart that couldn’t see you hurt. Promise me that you will always be happy, will never stop laughing, and most importantly, you would not stop living your life.”_

_He didn’t realized when and how his forehead reached hers, and touched the temple of her head. Her touch soothed the creases of his worry. This habit needed to be stopped. After four hours, she wouldn’t be there in his arms, he wouldn’t be able to hear her laughter, she wouldn’t be one touch away from, and he could feel the ache in the middle of his chest increasing by the minutes._

[***]

 

 

Darkness follows the light, and is always on the brim to latch it on and engulf every bit of the shine. He is not a fan of the dull and mundane night, but who is he to complaint. He had lived in the shadows, lurking and looking at the world from afar. The ripper of the Monterrey has nothing to be ashamed of. He loves to play with the food, and the euphoric feeling he gets when the taste of that blood touches his lips and slowly peers into his tongue through the taste buds. He loses himself in that moment every time. The ripper has no regrets in his life, and walking in the pitch black night is kind of fun. It might not be fun for the person walking in front of him. The ripper inside him smiles thinking about the ways he is going to rip his body apart.  

The human turns his head, and starts to walk faster. The ripper laughs silently at the fun fact. A human can never outrun a vampire. He still doesn’t use his vamp speed, waiting for his prey’s next move. But, for the past five minutes the innocent haven’t done anything other than walking faster. And now he is bored.

The moment he thought, he got pinned to the wall opposite to him.

This will be fun to watch. He thought.

“Who are you and why are you following me?” asked the innocent.

Innocent, funny word it is. For the guy with the potentiality of being a murderer. The ripper chuckled wondering about it.

“Wrong question! What you should have been asking to yourself is ‘what crimes have I done in my life, and whether I am worth this world or not?’ That’s the important question,” finishes the ripper, still pinned to the wall.

“I have no idea what you are talking about?”

“Oh, you will have once you get there.”

“Get where?”

“To the place everyone dreads.”

The human furrows his brows in confusion.

“It will be quick, no promises,” the moment he says it out loud, his hands grips his shoulder tightly, “and you are free to shriek and be scared.”

His eyes turned its color to blood red; making the veins emerge beneath the eyes He saw the fear in his prey’s eye and the euphoria was mesmerizing.

It was the loudest shriek he had heard after a long time now and just like that, Stefan added yet another name to the pile of names. He has been a ripper before, there is nothing to imagine new. Yet, something felt changed, not the same as it used to. The difference is not in being the ripper. It’s all about the feelings that the ripper has started to feel now. The beast was addicted to the blood he tasted after so long, but the pain, the agony is too much to bear, and the Ghost of the Monterrey ripper is laughing at the ripper he has become now. His eyes are numb but not wet, his face didn’t show any kind of remorse, and yet there is a vast hole created in the middle of his chest, the one which can never be filled again.

“I am sorry,” Stefan whispers to the lifeless body lying on the ground.

The ripper never apologizes ever; the ripper doesn’t know the definition of being in agony. How did he change so much? He wondered. And every time the question arises, his head points to the single name.

He closed his eyes to shut himself off from thinking about her. There is no point. The ripper is emotionless, he can’t love anyone.

_Shut up._

He scolds the other guy, the one in his head making him feel it.

_You are not in charge, and will not be ever again._

“You are pathetic,” the voice comes from the other corner and the ripper rolled his eyes.

“I don’t need your comments,” answered Stefan.

“You will apologize to your food and then will expect me to be quite is like not knowing me at all brother!” said his so called, good for nothing big brother, Damon Salvatore.

“Geez, stop acting like a girlfriend, big brother.”

“I don’t have to, because certain someone’s voice is already doing that part,” commented Damon. “Unless you shut her thoughts, you won’t focus and your one year contract will terminate.”

Stefan laughed so loud that his voice echoed in the empty streets of Philadelphia.

“The ripper doesn’t do relationships, and if you or anyone else thinks that it will be easier to shut me down so soon, is absolutely wrong. Your brother was a fool who thought he is way too strong and would be able to shut me off whenever he would like. He thinks he turned me into some reformed ripper who is weak and in control. Reformed, yes… in control, yes again… but weak? Not at all. Ripper isn’t going anywhere, not now, not after a year.

If his words weren’t clear, the cunning smile on his face made it all crystal clear.


	2. Chapter 2

She had lost the track of time, for the past few days, or is it months, she didn’t know. All she knew was to focus on one thing, her work. Thus, effortlessly she kept typing on her laptop, replying to the mails, getting new shows on her channel. It’s been a long time since she opened the branch office of her channel in Mystic Falls, her home, and yet, something felt odd, out of order. Today she had managed to not think about the odds, until now. The sounds of the typing keypad stopped at the same time she closed her eyes, pushing her brain to stop thinking, to concentrate on the work in front of her.

She can do it, if she won’t think about it, it won’t hurt anymore.

She reminded herself once again the mantra she had been repeating from the time since her world torn apart.

“Is it a good time, Caroline?”

She heard her secretary peeking from her cabin’s door, and she was relieved to see her. Maybe this can distract her.

“What is it Sonia?”

“I have got the briefing for the new segment that launched this week that you asked for today.”

“Perfect, let’s go over on this in the conference hall. Call everyone for the meeting. I want to discuss about the ratings, and contents for the upcoming segments with the team,” Caroline said while walking out of the door.

“I am already on it. By the way, that’s a really cute jacket,” commented Sonia, which stopped her on her way out.

“Is it your boyfriend’s?”

She slowly looked down on the black sweater she was wearing, a bit longer and big for her size. She didn’t care though. It didn’t go with the work attire but she didn’t worry about it much. She rubbed her nose softly on the material of the sweater on her left shoulder, and inhaled deeply. It was like she almost breathed him, as if he was standing right beside her, she could feel his essence, but the warmth was missing. She could feel the fabric of his sweater, but it wasn’t the same. She could smell his cologne dispersed deep into the woven wool, but it was not the same. Nothing felt closer to the reality because her reality wasn’t the same. She wore that sweater in a hope, that it might ease her mind. She was wrong though. She isn’t crazy, and that’s exactly what she reminded herself, it didn’t feel the same because he wasn’t there to hold her and just by the touch make her feel sane again.

“Caroline?”

Her secretary called her again, and she cursed under her breath. “No, it belongs to my fiancé.”

“Yes, I keep forgetting it, when is Stefan coming back?”

She wanted to laugh on the lightness in her Secretary’s tone. For the world he was out for some work, a small lie for people. But, she knew better than to live in that lie she told her co-workers.

“It might take some time.”

One year to be exact.

She crossed her finger, in a hope that she will see him once again sooner than she thinks.

“Oh.”

She heard Sonia mumbled behind her.

“What?” she asked her confused secretary.

“There was a sticky note on this vase,” replied Sonia.

Her confusion made Caroline curious to take that note out of her hand.

_“Not that you need any wishes, but all the best for the upcoming segment. :)_ _”_

“Who is this from?” Sonia asked once she saw her smiling, the smile that she saw on her boss’s face after almost a week now.

Caroline stood there staring at the wall, as if she could almost see him, standing there, smiling at her.

_Funny that he has an eternity to live the life, an immortal being he called himself, and yet he didn’t have much time to finish up as much as he wanted to. He moved his marker in a curve finishing up the scribbles on that sticky note, and put a thrust on the wall, making it to stick there, and hoping that she will find it one day. Her studio was empty because of the holiday season, so not many questions for him, and he didn’t have to compel anyone. He never wanted to it to be like this, to be away from her, and it hurts badly just by thinking about leaving his life behind like this. Maybe this is his punishment of all those sins he attempted. A tormented soul for the rest of his life, as his brother wished for him. He closed his eyes, as if he could see her reading the scribbled notes, a spark in her eyes, glowing like the celestial objects, and that whole image was enough to make him smile back in that empty hallway._

Caroline didn’t need any explanation or another sight to confirm the writing. She looked around in a hope that he might be there. Even though it seemed unreal, her heart wanted to dream about his presence. Just a moment ago, her every nerve was feeling like dying, and one singe note made her feel alive, bringing back that spark, all of a sudden.

***

 

His jaws were sore and paining when he dug his fangs deeper into the soft porcelain skin. It was the good pain, and he enjoyed it very much. The crimson red on his lips was absorbing bit by bit into his taste bud, and it felt like he was flying, almost an euphoric lunatic. He wondered how he resisted to be so glum till now. Heads off to that poor soul. He chuckled at the inside joke he was having with himself, as slowly he tore his victim’s head out of her lifeless body which was hanging straight because of the support of his body.

_This isn’t you._

That voice again.

He growled back because of noises in his head. It wasn’t a clear and deep voice, but a murmur and an echo at the same time.

_Please, Stefan… you need to stop._

He ignored it, and went back to his business, and just like that, all was done. Another name in the lists of names had been added, and one more soul provided to Cade. But, he didn’t care about it, as long as he gets to have the good parts.

_You are stronger than this._

He heard that voice yet again, and this time it irked him more than it did last time.

“Oh, shut up!” he groaned in the abandoned alley in the middle of the night.

“I didn’t say anything,” Damon replied while walking towards him.

Stefan groaned once again, and this time it wasn’t because of the voices in his head, but the one coming out loud from his brother’s mouth.

“I think I told you that I don’t need your meddling in my ways,” Stefan replied, walking away from Damon.

“And Cade told me to keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t need babysitting, and since you are free of all this, why don’t you go and waste your life on someone else?”

“Hey, I am just doing my job. Cade wants to make sure you are keeping your side of the deal, brother,” he smiled the way he usually does when he tries to smirk. “Plus, where is the fun without my ripper brother?”

Stefan rolled his eyes at his bothersome brother.

“Look at the pile of pieces of the dead bodies, and get it straight in your meddling head, that I am not even near to breaking that deal. Also, why would I, if I take an enjoyment in all of this?”

Damon shook his head, staring at Stefan. “You see, that’s where you are wrong. You can fool others, but not me. You can never stop being that human self, and there will always be that part hidden inside you which will bring you back to that sappy version of yours.”

Stefan ignores him.

“You talks to yourself like a lunatic, and I wonder why that is?”

“Don’t make me kill you too,” replied Stefan.

“Can’t! Are you forgetting we can’t die anymore?”

“Doesn’t mean I won’t, and one more step by you following me, and I swear I will pull that heart out of your chest.”

Stefan didn’t wait for him to respond. He doesn’t care about anything. If killing can shut his mouth, he would certainly do it.

The problem wasn’t his brother though, but the voices he had been hearing in his head.

He cursed himself under his breath. This is insane, he doesn’t have any emotions on, and yet why does he feel that emptiness in the middle of his chest.

_You are better than this, and I know this, even if you are unable to remember it._

He laughed at the ghost.

“Keep dreaming,” he whispered back heading for a lodging place He was tired after chasing and feeding, and now he wanted to have a good sleep.

***

 

It’s not like he never really had a visit by Cade, but every time this dude comes in front of Damon, he could feel the chilly air around him.

“Since, you called me so soon; I am assuming you have what I asked you for?” Cade asked.

“Of course,” Damon said while getting out the wallet from the inside pocket of his jet black leather jacket, and handed over to the devil in front of him.

He saw Cade observing and looking amazed with the wallet as if it was very precious. Only thing that Damon knew was it belonged to Stefan, and apart from that, he didn’t know anything about anything.

“If I may ask-”

“No, you can’t,” Cade replied, cutting him off in mid-sentence.

“If it pleases you.” Damon shuts his mouth off.

“Keep having an eye on Stefan,” stated Cade, while taking out a piece of paper from Stefan’s wallet.

Even though he was standing almost two feet away from Cade, he could clearly make out the words jotted on that tore piece of paper.

 

_“When did you notice me?”_

_You had asked me a similar question once, and I remained silent. I Think of that question still, and yet I remain quiet. It’s not because I don’t have any answer, nor because I don’t love you. It is because I love you so much, without knowing the answers to the questions of how, or when, or from where. The simple answer is I have fallen for you unconditionally. I once thought, I knew what love is, but you made me realize what being loved actually felt like. I thought I found love everytime I felt attracted to the idea of being in love, but in the end it remained just an idea, until I realized the core truth. You know the things that I don’t admit about myself, you see me as I am, and yet you found a place in your heart solely for me. You inspired me to love what I am now, to be the reformed version of myself. And I don’t think I would have done it without you, to become the better version of myself. You hate me now, but trust me when I say that I hate myself more than you right now, because I have hurted you, because I have made you cry, and because I left you behind, and if I could get a chance back in this life, my only wish would be to see you smile again. One day, I will be no more, there will be a time, when the name Stefan Salvatore will fade away, but I can assure you that my love for you will grow till the end of this world, till the sun dies, till the tides stand still. I have never mentioned it to you, probably because I never really realized it myself. But, now that you are not here, beside me, I know what you mean for my existence._

Damon stood silently there, staring down on the words. A vampire with it’s humanity off shouldn’t feel anything, and that’s a fact. And if that’s a fact, what should he call the sensation of heavy stone sinking and thumping hard in the pit of his stomach? He had been reading Stefan’s journals about his love and his feelings for almost when he took the pen in between his fingers and started moving on the sheets. It wasn’t anything new. Yet, for some reason, something felt different. Maybe it was just the sappyness of those words, or maybe it was because for some reason, it reminded him of Elena. After all, things felt almost similar for both of them. Difference was, Damon had lost it to his fate, accepted what came in his way, gave up on his love. And yet , there was his brother, still carrying that piece of paper as if he still cares. Maybe he still does.

Guilt built up in his mind to get Stefan under the truck along with himself, ruining his life along with his own. Elena would never forget what he had done, and neither would Caroline.

“Interesting.” Cade commented.

Damon heard Cade murmuring to himself. By the words, he could see whom his brother wrote it to. What he couldn’t understand was significance of all this to him.

“What’s interesting?”

“Your brother and his attachment to this woman.”

“It’s probably something he wrote way back. How does it matter now?” asked Damon.

“Well, I have had an eye on your brother for a long time now, and yet he looks different than his old self.” Cade’s eyes never left the paper, still observing it, and Damon wondered what was going in his head.

“Make sure you give me a timely update about the progress,” Cade stated and dissolved in the thin air in front of Damon.

Would Elena forgive him for ruining everyone’s life along with his? He has been wondering about it since he got the memories of her back, and the only answer he could come up with is she wouldn’t. He closed his eyes off, trying hard to shut the shreds of humanity coming back to him, making it stop to feel angry for his brother, for taking it happiness away from him, ruining every single person in his way.

Shut it off, and everything will be fine again. No emotions, no pain. He thought, and in an instant he was back to being the soulless vampire.

If keeping Stefan in this deal is what he has to do, then that is what he will do to get the job done.


End file.
